Lonestar Jinx
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:06 PM
I'm a lonestar jinx. yes this is me all right. i'm all alone in the world with no one to care 4, to love me. and i'm destinied to be alone thruout my life. althou i got a family, my father only care 4 my 2nd sis, while my mother only care 4 my youngest sis. no one really care 4 me. i'm all alone in my own little world. i play wif myself, talk to myself, comfort myself, love myself n care 4 myself. y am i so lonely? i have frenz too, but dey r too busy having their own life to bother abt me. yes, ppl move on, only me stay on the orginal place. i sometimes feel i'm so loathsome. ppl r busy to go out wif me, i keep pestering em to accompany me. i feel i'm so disgusting, so irritable, so asshole, so idiotic. ppl can't wait to stay away frm me. i understand tat. cuz i keep pestering em. sometime i really wish to end my life immediately. but who am i to kill myself? even i reach hell after i died, the ppl down there oso may not bother wif me. there's no one really really cared abt me. y? cuz i sucks! i do not plan to fall in love, i do not plan to have a boyfren, i do not plan to get married, cuz i will pull the other person down wif me. i'm a jinx, the other person will be infectedby me. best frenz normally know each other inside out. but 4 me, i may noe my best fren inside out, she will definately not noe me inside out. i noe wat she likes, she will definately not noe wat i like. our interested may not be the same, i can try to tolerate her, but she will definately not tolerate me. r best frenz suppose to be like tat? haiz... i dun noe wat's goin on wif my life. y can't my life be as interesting as others? y? cuz i'm a JINX!! tat's y......