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superstar dream
Monday, May 30, 2005 1:15 AM
Hmmm.... juz like the title said. i'd like to become a superstar. well, not really the Superstar, but would be to become a singer. i really really love to sing. if i were to become a singer, i'd like to release English n Japanese album. i'd love to go to either the States or Japan to launch my music career. Nowadays many ppl r gng to Taiwan to launch their music career, but not me. well, i may consider releasing Chinese, but b4 tat i'd love to have some results in either English or Japan music. So, if any ppl out there looking 4 a star, do look 4 me.... haha.... well, i may not have to figure, but i myself reckon tat i have to voice. so.... hehehe.... let me try it! there's no harm trying, rite? hahahaha.... :P
a cute bird
12:32 AM
Recently, ok, a couple of mths back, when i was dining @ Macdonalds wif my fren, i saw a very funny incident. We were sitting by the glass window, i saw a bird trying to flew inside Mac thru the window! of course the bird can't fly thru, it hit the glass window n drop down to the floor. it was lying there not moving, n i got a little worry. i tot the bird's dead. but after a while it was ok, n flew away. haha.. the bird's so cute, so funni.... haha
Lonestar Jinx
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 11:06 PM
I'm a lonestar jinx. yes this is me all right. i'm all alone in the world with no one to care 4, to love me. and i'm destinied to be alone thruout my life. althou i got a family, my father only care 4 my 2nd sis, while my mother only care 4 my youngest sis. no one really care 4 me. i'm all alone in my own little world. i play wif myself, talk to myself, comfort myself, love myself n care 4 myself. y am i so lonely? i have frenz too, but dey r too busy having their own life to bother abt me. yes, ppl move on, only me stay on the orginal place. i sometimes feel i'm so loathsome. ppl r busy to go out wif me, i keep pestering em to accompany me. i feel i'm so disgusting, so irritable, so asshole, so idiotic. ppl can't wait to stay away frm me. i understand tat. cuz i keep pestering em. sometime i really wish to end my life immediately. but who am i to kill myself? even i reach hell after i died, the ppl down there oso may not bother wif me. there's no one really really cared abt me. y? cuz i sucks! i do not plan to fall in love, i do not plan to have a boyfren, i do not plan to get married, cuz i will pull the other person down wif me. i'm a jinx, the other person will be infectedby me. best frenz normally know each other inside out. but 4 me, i may noe my best fren inside out, she will definately not noe me inside out. i noe wat she likes, she will definately not noe wat i like. our interested may not be the same, i can try to tolerate her, but she will definately not tolerate me. r best frenz suppose to be like tat? haiz... i dun noe wat's goin on wif my life. y can't my life be as interesting as others? y? cuz i'm a JINX!! tat's y......
is this me?
Monday, May 23, 2005 12:12 AM
I realise i have 2 faces. 2 personalities, 2 characters. not the very tremendous change thou. i dun noe, i realise, when i'm wif someone close to me, i may be of 1 character, but when i'm wif a stranger or someone not tat close, like colleagues, i may be of a 2nd character. my 1st character is very relaxed, very talkative, a bit stubborn n gets angry pretty easily. my 2nd character is more reserved, very quiet, likes to smile, everything is yes, or juz nod my head in agreement. i dun noe..... i'm afraid thou, i didn't tell anyone abt this.... even my friends notice this. when i go out wif em, i'm always the one talking, when their friends join in, i suddenly became very very super quiet. n dey kept asking y i'm so quiet. sometimes, i feel like i'm an typical introvert. i dun dare to make the 1st move to make friends. it's always other ppl make friends wif me. it's always the others to make the talking first. i'm a nature quiet person. even my grandma says i won't be able to be a lawyer when i grow up. cuz i can't talk. somehow or rather, i feel like i'm a jinx. yes, i didn't type wrongly, i feel like i'm a jinx! i'm a born loner. i dun have much friends, most of my friends have their own grp of friends, i'm always left alone, no one to accompany. :( their own grp of friends always have the priority first. i'm always the last. wat am i, a stand-in? everyone took me 4 granted. sometime i tink, even when i die, none of my friends will noe. whenever i wanted to date them go shopping, they'll always say they r meeting wif their friends already. i always feel tat whenever i'm arnd, bad things will happen. like when i watch a match on tv, live telecast, whoever i support will always lose. when i tune away to other channels, the one i support will always win. i dun noe y but i juz keep having this feeling. when i older, i'll definately be alone. cuz all arnd me will have a life on their own. no one will bother about me. sometimes i wonder, y not i juz kill myself now? i'll not tat unhappy if i died. i'm pretty sure tat i'll be alone 4 the rest of my life without family, friends, n other half (my life partner). i dun noe y, i juz can't tink postive, it's always negative things i kept tinking abt. since i'll be alone 4 the rest of my life, y not i end my life now, to stop being a burden to the sociaty. anyway i'm the xtra one. i hope none will be reading this, thou i did publish it out.....
My so-called best buds
12:05 AM
well, to others may tink it's rite 4 best buds to do n say such stuffs, but not to me. juz today, i kenna suan by one of my "best buds". well, i wouldn't say who, in case she's reading this. well, there's a place i haven't been to, ok, tat place is a bar, n i was asking her a little more abt it, like wat's costs like, n do dey offer any food or anything to eat. well, those r considered normal questions, cuz some bars offer only like finger foods n some dun even offer, but she says i ask too much. well hey! i haven't been to those places, of course i need to ask a bit to get a better idea rite, she began to say i'm not suitable to go to such places n i'm like mountain turtle. she even suggested me not to go to such places. hell, who wouldn't be hurt after hearing these? i cried after hearing it, i'm so angry wif her. y is she such insensitive? so wat she'd been to such places? does tat make her a better person dan me? i'm 100% sure if i'm the one who been to such places, n she's the one who haven't been to, she'll definately ask more questions dan me! i can still remember, the first time i watch a concert wif her. i'm working @ a cd shop, n my sup gave me a pair of free concert tix, i can't remember wat artistes, i plan to watch it wif her. she become so ScArEd tat she keep flooding me with tons n tons of questions, like u confirm can go in watch not? i scared leh, later cannot go in how? we came all the way here le, later cannot go in how? wow, my first concert leh, nervous leh, confirm can watch ah. dun later tell mi cannot watch ah... etc... n i have to keep telling her tat it's ok, confirm can watch. n i have to tell her 2 weeks b4 the concert. now i only have a few bits of qns n she find me ask too much. how can she like tat? it's so hurtful. i'm still crying now even when i'm almost done. how can she treat me like tat?
Manchester United lost the FA cup!
Sunday, May 22, 2005 11:20 PM
Watched yesterday's FA cup final n i CAN"T believe that Man Utd lost!! Man Utd should've won, with @ least 4 or 5 goals.... haiz.... it's so sad... i really can't believe they actually lost! in tat game, they created more chances, n r playing far better than their other games. when watching tat game, i was like wat is Arsenal doing? how can they play a game like tat? it's not their usual std yesterday, n they can actually win? i dare say, 99% of the ppl who watched tat match yesterday, would say Man Utd will win, even if they r not Man Utd's fans. i was so nervous near the end of the 90 mins tat my hands were shaking. i reckon, maybe, they shld choose Tim Howard as the goalkeeper rather than Roy Carroll... well, ok, maybe the match itself, Roy Carroll is the better choice, but when come to penalty shoot out, i guess, Tim Howard will probably be the better keeper. haha... also, wat is Van Nistelrooy doing?! he keep making mistakes. i reckon, if Alan Smith were to substitute him, probably Man U can win.... :P haha.... it's so sad tat Alan Smith did not play... :( it's his dream to play in the FA cup final, but he was not choosen to play.... :( :'( if he were to play, he'll probably score a goal, n they'll not need to go into tat penalty shoot out, n Arsenal would not have win..... hahaha.... :P No odubt that Van Nistelrooy is a better striker, wif more experience, but den, he keep making mistakes n keeps shooting the ball wide, the manager should've substituted him off.... allowing others have a chance to play n score goals. And that idiot referee, is there sth wrong wif his eyes or wat, there's obviously 2 handballs tat he didn't see..... it's in the penalty area some more.... his eyes ar, really need to go see doctor ah..... Poor Paul Scholes, his penalty was kept out by the Arsenal keeper. it's not his fault tat he didn't score, it the Arsenal keeper's fault! y did he block the ball?!?!?! well, it's a pity tat Man U didn't win..... i'm really shocked, i'm sure the whole world is shocked... oh well, it's Arsenal who's lucky......